Reinventing Myself
I've sold content for nearly 40 years - to media outlets and enterprises - about their brands. Now I am trying to write for my own brand.
I saw an ad on Instagram to attend a beta course on designing a brand with visual brand designer Jenna Soard. I signed up. And then I dragged my feet. Her emails became more insistent that I was running out of time to partake in the beta. But I had a 15-mile bike ride to do, and then wow, a huge project dropped on my lap. And last month’s project was ramping up. I also had to travel.
I wanted the new brand. Knew I needed it. But dragged my heels. Why? Perhaps because I didn’t want to confuse my poor brain with one more set of instructions. Each email that Jenna sent telling me I was running out of time had greater urgency. I felt guilt - and then annoyed that I felt guilty, which further rationalized dragging my feet.
So why? Why was I so resistant? Well, I am not a designer. I know what I like and I have played creative director throughout my career. But the idea of having to assemble mood boards from scratch was a bit intimidating.
But that wasn’t the reason.
And sometimes I am hesitant because I don’t want to do something that I won’t immediately be proficient at. But that wasn’t it either.
What initially intrigued me about the course was it was about designing a personal brand. I wasn’t doing this for a client. I was doing this for me. And I had no idea what my 60-something personal brand should be.
Thirty-some-years ago I was editor-in-chief of a woman’s business magazine, Executive Female, the magazine for the National Association of Female Executives (NAFE). We put on symposiums and conferences all over the country. We even did a simulcast to several US cities, which, in 1990, was a BFD.
My 29-year old self came up with topics and flew into cities to give talks. For a conference in Cleveland, on a whim, I had come up with, “Is It LadyLike to Pursue Money?” It sounds ridiculously antediluvian from a 2024 perspective. But this was 1990 - and there were more than 400 women in attendance. I was absolutely terrified. What the hell was I going to say to these women?
A lot of them were in a similar life-altering place like I am today: Older, empty-nested, some were a late entrant to the job market, maybe divorced or even widowed. At the event, one woman told me that she found a wallet with an old credit card in it. The name on it was Mrs. [John Doe]. It wasn’t until 1974 that the passage of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) enabled women to secure credit in their own names without a man to co-sign. I didn’t even have this frame of reference to guide me in whatever advice I was going to give these women.
I don’t remember what I said. I can recall something like, if you don’t feel comfortable doing it for yourself, do it for your family, your kids, a cause. Convince yourself you are worth it. Somehow it was well-received and they applauded. They may have been just midwestern polite.
All these years later I find myself back in Cleveland at CEX - a conference for content entrepreneurs. People who are looking to earn money with the content they create - under their own personal brand. Content like this post. Not content that I sold to enterprises, be they media outlets or not, for all of my career. Instead, I hope to write a nonfiction book that isn’t collaborative or about business. I actually have two or three rolling about in my mind. This substack hints at some of what I am thinking. Not yet enough for a book.
I am in a workshop with Cat Margulis, a truly delightful woman from Toronto, who is a former journalist, author, coach, and maybe most impressive, mom of four kids. She refers to her upcoming book, “Again, Only More Like You,” (Spring 2025) as a hug to women who are embracing change. I feel that hug as she guides me to think about how I want to project myself. Am I a confident know-it-all, telling you what to do? Perhaps at one point in my life, when I knew so much less. But now, I am introspective, I want to mentor by being circumspect and thoughtful. I write that down. I also want to embrace fun.
Who is my audience? I think back to that group of women in Cleveland. They wanted assurances that things that many take for granted like asking for a raise, or putting a monetary value on their time was okay. It’s not necessarily a woman’s issue. I know plenty of men who are just as reticent about asking for things they deserve. I also think of my friends and acquaintances at dance who say things to me like - "you have your job - I only had my kids.” Or my friend Joanne who just sold her company so she can spend more time doing what she wants “writing my next chapter,” she says. Or my friend Shari who lost her job, divorced, and empty nested. The trifecta of terrifying change.
One of my favorite books that had an indelible imprint on me was (paid link) Composing a Life, by Mary Catherine Bateson. I read it shortly after it came out in 1991, and it has stayed with me for over 30 years. It chronicled the lives of Bateson and her friends as they went through life altering changes that redefined adulthood. Two decades later, she came back with the sequel Composing a Further Life. The gist of the second book is that with longer lives, many of us will experience what she refers to as Adulthood II. With better health, access to healthcare, established wealth, and fulfillment of whatever social constructs, we can now concentrate on who we want to be - versus who had to be. She calls it active wisdom. I refer to it as “I fed my family, now I can feed my soul.”
I hope to attract those of you trying to figure out the next phase in your lives. Do you go back to school? Do you learn a new language? Do you train for a half-marathon? I’m not in a position to tell you what to do - but I hope what I share - the giggles as well as the tears, will encourage you to take chances and rekindle that childhood curiosity for adventure and exploration.
Back in New Jersey, I have two days left of my two-week beta to learn how to build a personal brand. I am listening to the workshops at 1.5 x speed - trying to soak in as much as possible. Her prompts around color, style, and imagery are terrific. And now I have some answers. My original Anime, picture here, was created by my friend Adrienne’s daughter Sarah, artist of Moon Rose Arts. The one at the top of the article was a collaboration of Sarah’s art with Jenna’s outstanding methodology. I’m having Sarah create more characters for me (and with dark eyes not the blue in the figure). I hope you will share your thoughts on both the visual brand journey, as well as my overall exploration.
Procrastination is only cheating myself.
PS. Jenna’s methodology is awesome and she helps bring your concepts to fruition with AI. The image at the top was largely encouraged by her. I wish, wish, wish, I had not wasted 11 of my 14 days ruminating instead of exploring.
PPS. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
I think it's so interesting how we go through these transition phases of life, re-inventing ourselves. I'm currently working on an essay about my own transition journey lately. I love your phrase "I fed my family, now I can feed my soul." It resonates.
Terrific essay! I can relate to procrastinating work on your own project instead of client work. Sure switches things around when you write content of your own to build your own brand. A nice introduction to your vision. Multiple books to come!